Last time I told you about my friend Jim and how we helped him get back on track with his project and find the motivation to do what he needed to do.  You can read that article here if you missed it.

The "This & That" technique I used with him is a very cool linguistic pattern originally modeled by John McWhirter from the UK.  I learned it several years ago from Steve Andreas and it works like magic to help a person change from a negative state to a positive one strictly using conversation.

When I started this little piece with Jim, I recognized that he was very stuck.  When we feel intense negative emotions it is difficult to get ourselves unstuck.  This is because negative emotions cause cerebral cortex to focus narrowly only on those things that will help prepare us to fight or flee.  Our flexibility and creativity go out the window which handicaps our ability to think straight or solve problems.

Just thinking about work was enough to cause Jim to shut down.  So he had painted himself into a corner, so to speak.  To make matters even worse, he knew he couldn't quit immediately and he felt that he had to produce some work quickly to meet his commitments and not get fired.  He needed to get to a place where he could feel good enough again to at least take care of some immediate business.

The "This & That pattern caused Jim to re-categorize his experience so that his internal way of looking at it and the feelings that came from those images were more like the way that they used to be back when things were different at the organization.  This wasn't a permanent solution, because the work situation was in fact oppressive.  But it was enough to get him off center and out of procrastination for the time being.  

Later Jim found the time to get into a new job that was more congruent with his personal values and his extensive skill set - a place where people could appreciate him for what he has to offer.

 

This pattern is a fun one to do because it has the feel of real magic - a sort of slight of mind trick.  And they always wonder why it works.  It is based upon the clever use of the demonstrative pronouns, this and that.  Demonstrative pronouns stand in for nouns in a sentence and answer where the subject or object is – either here or there.

By asking the client to think in terms of difference between "this" and "that" in the first move, you are pacing their current reality.  They are acutely aware that their current negative (problem) state is different from what they want.  They just don’t know what to do to change it.  

When you ask the second question about the similarities you get them to consider both emotional states in a totally new category, that of how they are relationally the same.  This outframes the client’s prior experience and brings the two states closer together so that they overlap in the same category.

At the same time you switch the referential index for the two experiences by changing from calling the problem state “this” to calling it “that.”

These two words presuppose and evoke special submodality qualities in the English language.  The demonstrative pronoun, “this” tends to be represented more closely, while “that” tends to be held further away.  We say this is here, and that is there, meaning over there, away from here.  So by changing the way we are referring to the two anchored states we switch the submodalities used to represent the positive resource state so that it is closer and therefore more in the foreground, while the submodalities of the problem state change to push it into the background.  

By the third move, the question is back to asking about difference again.  But this time we use the word, “now” to presuppose that something has changed.  It also helps anchor the resource state to the present.  That way as the client thinks about how things are different now, they suddenly realize that something has changed that they did not expect.  This surprise is the type that Milton Erickson called "ratifying the trance."  It tends to lock in the changed positions of the two states, positive and negative by meta-stating the two new positions.  As a plus, the emotional surprise also creates a substantial meta-feeling which helps to lend strength to the mental generalization about how things are different somehow.  It is like a good magic trick, the surprise at the end gets more of the neurology engaged which helps to make it memorable.  This means that the change is more likely to “stick.”


HOW TO LEARN THIS PATTERN

To learn this pattern you need to know how to use gestures to anchor certain ideas spatially.  Practice putting the problem state anchor in space using your right hand.  If you are facing your client this puts the problem on his or her left side in front of them.  That way when you anchor the resource state using your left hand it will be on the client’s right side.  For the majority of people these locations are congruent with moving the problem state into their past timeline and the resource into their future.  

The words and anchors change as shown in the following table:

 

Step

Move

Question

Left Hand

(Resource State)

Right Hand

(Problem State)

1.

Pace and Setup

How is this different from that?

That

This

2.

Switch

How is this the same as that?

This

That

3.

Reveal and Ratify

How is this now, different from that?

This

That

 

To practice this pattern most people find it helpful to start getting the pattern for the gestures and the words “this” and “that” down up front.  Repeat the pattern of gestures and those words in the six anchors included in the three steps until the pattern feels comfortable in your body.  Start by saying “this” and gesturing with your right hand, then saying “that” while anchoring the space in front of you with your left hand.  Then say “this” while gesturing with your left hand, followed by “that” with your right.  Then complete step three by saying “this” on the left and “that” on the right.  

Once you have the anchors and the demonstrative pronouns (“this” and “that”) down, then begin to practice the whole pattern including the Questions:  “How is this different from that?”  “How is this the same as that?”  “How is this now, different from that?”  

In this way you can become consciously competent with this language pattern in a relatively short period of time.  It takes a little practice, but the results of this tool are well worth the time and study.  

Enjoy!

~ Keith

 


Keith Fail is an NLP Trainer, Coach, and Master Modeler in Austin, Texas, and Director of NLP Resources Austin.  He writes and speaks about tools and techniques that help people to communicate better and live their dreams.  He works with teams and individuals to create contexts and communities that support a better world.  He can be reached at +1-512-507-5464.